Miss Berkel's One Nighter
by MrBillyD
Summary: It's Saturday night. Winifred Berkel is doing the Bar Scene, and becomes involved with a guy, in what might be politely described as a "romantic escapade". A cautionary tale.


Miss Berkel's One Nighter

It's Saturday night Winifred Berkel is on her own, doing the Bar Scene, and becomes involved with a guy, in what might be politely described as a "romantic escapade". A cautionary tale.

I do not own these characters. They belong to the Producers of the TV Show, "Angel".

This story contains sexual activity and suggestive language. I'm giving it a T rating.

The lyrics to the song, "Hernando's Hideaway"; were written by Frank Loesser, for the Musical Comedy "Pajama Game", which was produced on Broadway in the 1950's. The lyrics to the song "Ask Me How Do I Feel" were also written by Frank Loesser, for the Broadway Show "Guys and Dolls" which was produced in the late 1940's.

Miss Berkel's One Nighter

By MrBillyD

Dark haired Winifred Berkel sat alone at a knee high cocktail table, with a martini in front of her. That was the third one she'd had tonight. This was Saturday night, and the 28 year old Researcher had left her lab coat at work.

Tonight the weather was hot, and so was Winifred Berkel. She wore a dress that revealed her bare shoulders, bare back, and most of her legs. That was getting the attention she'd hoped for, from some of the guys who were seated at the bar.

She didn't recognize any of them. That was a plus for tonight.

The name of the dimly lit establishment was "Hernando's Hideaway", just like the title of that old Show tune. She'd actually appeared in her High School production of the Musical, "Pajama Game", and she remembered the song's lyrics.

"I know a dark, secluded place.  
A place where no one knows your face.  
A glass of wine, a fast embrace,  
That's called 'Hernando's Hideaway.  
O-le!

"Just knock three times, and whisper low,  
That you and I were sent by Joe.  
Then strike a match, and then you'll know,  
You're in Hernando's Hideaway.  
O-le!"

That's what I'm here for. Winifred Berkel thought. "A glass of wine. A fast embrace?"

The embrace doesn't have to be all that fast. She wondered, "A quickie"? A "Wham-bam, thank you ma'am?" I hope not. Whoever whams and bams with me, can take all the time he wants. It would also be nice if he says "Thank you ma'am".

She remembered more of the lyrics.

"You will be free,  
To gaze at me,  
And talk of lo-ove."

I've come here to do more than just talk! And forget about love! I'm one horny gal who just wants to get laid, and nothing more!

Oh-LAY!!!

I'm actually doing this? I don't feel nervous about it? I've come out alone tonight, to pick up some dude, who I'll have a noncommittal, recreational sexual encounter with? It's never been this way before. Sex has never been only recreational for me. Except...

Except when I was in high school; that night when I went out crusing with my friends. Then there was the night of my sweet sixteen party, when the captain of the football team laid me in the backseat o f his car. That was his birthday present to me, and I did appreciate it. I still do. But that was all it was. We'd both understood that.

He'd gone on to lay other girls. That didn't bother me. I'd gone on to a steady boyfriend. When he laid another girl, I did bother me, and it still does!

But that was twelve very long years ago. Now both my former recreational birthday present and my former steady boyfriend are married family men. The other girls they laid are now married women with families. I on the other hand, remain unmarried, unfulfilled and horny, and expect to remain that way.

I know I'm not gonna meet any Mr. Committed Relationship in here. Tonight, any good looking hunk, of noncommittal male meat, is all I want.

Now two guys at the bar are looking at me. They've got their heads together, and they're leering. They're saying something about me.

They're probably sayings, "How'd you like to shove it into her?"

My question is this. Would I like to have either one of them, shoved inside of me? Let's see. Well, the guy on the left doesn't make me want to throw up, but he doesn't thrill me either. So, I'll give him a shot, and see if he does thrill me.

I'm smiling at that guy on the left, and giving him a little wink, and beckoning tilt of the head. I can't believe how calm I'm feeling. It's probably those three martinis. No nervousness after that.

He's got the message! He's got off his barstool and he's coming over! I do not feel like throwing up. I feel really good about this.

The guy came over and stood beside the cocktail table, with a margarita in his hand and a smile on his face. He had dark hair, and was in his mid-twenties.

"Hi." He told her, "My name's David. May I join you?"

"Good evening Dave." She smiled seductively. "I'm Winifred. People call me Fred. I'd love to--have you--join me." She spoke with a sultry voice. "I'm sure that you and I, will make--a good--couple."

Now those were real smooth double entendres. She thought, I'm actually being seductive, and sultry, and it feels so effortless.

He seated himself on her right, at the tiny table, pressing his left leg against her right. She pressed her right leg back against his left, and smiled at him while he smiled back.

"'Fred'?" He told her, "You don't look like anybody who'd be named Fred."

"Well, since my name is Winifred, some people call me Winnie, but that's the sound that a horse makes."

He laughed lightly. Then he asked, "Then what should I call you?"

"Maybe you can think of something."

He said, "People could also call you 'Win". I think I'll call you 'Winner'."

"Why Dave." Her voice purred, "That's so sweet."

She reached under the table, and put her right hand on his left leg, just above the knee.

She said, "You know, on one Internet website, I actually use the pen name 'winninggirl.

"'Winninggirl'?" He told her, "I like that. I can't think of a name that fits you better."

He put his hand on her leg and gave it a firm squeeze.

Then he asked, "Pen name? Like a writer?"

"That's right." She told him, "I write fan fiction on the Internet. My stories are posted on fanfiction .net."

"What do you know!" He told her, "So are mine! My pen name's MrDavidK. This is the first time I've ever met another member. I'm so glad to meet you."

She smiled seductively again.

Then she asked, "What fandom do you write for?"

"I've written a few Law and Order stories. They're actually very easy. Nothing but formula plots."

"Beverly Hills 90210 here."

He nodded.

Winnie wasn't sure what to say next. She picked up her martini and took a sip. Then she crossed her legs, softly pressing his hand between both of them, while moving her hand up his leg.

"Winning Girl." Dave said, "You're causing a physical reaction that I can't control."

She stopped moving her hand.

"I've never done this before." She told him. "Until tonight, I've never been a skanky slut."

He pulled his hand out from between her crossed legs.

"No. Don't stop." She uncrossed her legs, and gripped his fingers softly.

She put his hand back on her leg. "I like feeling it there."

She pulled his hand back further along her leg, I and drew it all the way up under her skirt.

"I like it there even more." She told him, "And I'd like it even more than that, if you do whatever you want with it."

She felt him do something. Then she purred. "Now I really like that. Just keep on doing it."

He did as she asked.

"Now where was I? Oh yes." She spoke with a purring voice. "Tonight is the very first time that I've ever come into a bar alone, looking to pick up a guy, so I could fuck him for a one night stand."

"You mean this is a one time fling?" He smiled, "That makes me one lucky guy."

She laughed and continued to purr. "You better believe it mister. Until now, sex for me has always been within a committed relationship. I've never been slutty like this."

"Never?"

"Well I was once, when I was 15. Then I wasn't alone. Me and three other girls went out cruising for studs. We met some guys who we didn't know. Then we got drunk and got laid. Then we got away with it, and I've never had any regrets.

"Now I'm older, I've come here alone, and I don't expect to be regretting any of this either."

He pulled his hand out from inside her skirt, and put his arms around her. They put their mouths together, and begin kissing heavily, pressing their tongues together while holding each other tight.

He whispered in her ear. "I want to fuck you now."

"Good." She whispered, "I'm ready. I've rented a room for the night, at the motel down the street. Let's get going."

"Everything planned in advance?"

"Sure. I'm following some advice that I got from one of the gals at Wolfram and Hart, where I work."

Dave hesitated. Then he drew back, with his arms still around her.

She said, "What's the problem?"

"You work for Wolfram and Hart? Isn't that the vampire corporation?"

"That's okay Dave." She chuckled. "I'm not a vampire. Vampires are cold, but I'm very hot, aren't I."

"You do feel kind of cool, but not all that cold." He grinned, "I'd love to do what I can to warm you up, Winninggirl."

"So you do still want to fuck me, don't you?"

"Sure I do. You just threw me off for a moment."

They both finished their cocktails quickly. Then they stood up. Winifred picked up her handbag, and they left the Club together.

The two of them headed on down the street toward the motel, with their arms around each other.

She began to sing with a laughing tone. The song was from another Musical, that she'd appeared in, back in high school.

"Ask me how do I feel,  
Ask me now that we're fondly caressing!  
Well if I was a salad,  
I know I'd be splashing My dressing!"

He said, "Wolfram and Hart must be a very dangerous place to work."

"Not as much as you might think." She explained, "Some of my best friends are vampires, and I trust them completely. As a matter of fact, I actually never feel safer, than I do when I'm with a vampire."

"You feel completely safe with them?"

"No. Never completely. I have been told that I'm a very cute gal, with a very appetizing neck, and a lot a guys around the place, who'd love to sink their fangs into it. Now I think that's all very flattering, but when a guy sticks something into me, I'd like to still be alive, when he pulls it out."

"I see." He said, "Is that why you're having this 'fling' with me?"

"It sure is. All the guys I know are vampires, and I am so fucking horny!"

They reached the motel in less than five minutes. They went to Winnie's room, which was on the ground floor, and shut the blinds.

Winnie told him, "Don't turn on the light. It'll be much more romantic, if we're just silhouettes."

In the dim light that came around the edges of the blinds, they went into each other's arms, and kissed for a while. Then they both stripped to the waist, and went into each other's arms again. They then removed their lower garments, got into the bed and under the covers.

Then Dave was on top of Winifred, thrusting into her, while she purred rhythmically.

This isn't love. She thought, We're just two pieces of meat rubbing against each other. He moving a warm piece of hard salami, back and forth inside of me.

Now I've got his meat, so it's time to eat.

Then Winifred Berkel extended her vampire fangs, put them against David's neck, and chomped them in deep.

Two minutes later, the first guy who she'd ever picked up in a bar was dead. She got out from under the covers, turned on the lamp, and saw herself naked in the mirror. This was something that nobody had every been able to figure out; why no one else could see a vampire's reflection, but she could see her own. She did not like what she was looking at.

She thought, It's a good thing the light was off. It's a good thing he's too dead to see me this way.

She put her clothes back on.

Then she went over to the desk, beside the window. She reached in her handbag, and took out a copy of the 48 page "Vampires Handbook" which was published by Wolfram and Hart Corp. The booklet was subtitled, "Being a Vampire Doesn't Have To Suck." Under the subtitle was a smiley face with fangs. Under the smiley face a blurb stated, "What every new vampire should know."

She went over to the bed, and placed the booklet between Dave's limp fingers. Then she went back to the desk, took a pen out of her handbag, and wrote on a post-it note.

"Thank your for everything. You can PM me through my Writer's Profile.  
LOVE.  
winninggirl"

Winifred went back over to the bed, and pasted the post-it note to the cover of the Handbook.

Then Miss Winifred Berkel leaned over, and gave MrDavidK a kiss on the cheek. Then she went out the door singing.

"...And If I was a watch /I know I'd be popping my spring;  
And if I was a bell I'd go/ 'Ding-dong-ding-dong-ding!"

--------------------------------------------------------------

Today is Monday, January 14, 2008. I have just checked the Authors Name search. As of this morning, no one on the fanfiction .net website, is using the pen names "MrDavidK" or winninggirl".


End file.
